"Cross over to the safe side with Big steps", this traditional cantonese saying has been chanted and murmured for days now, in hope to reach Guanyin and Buddha and all the holy gods to pull my granddad from the gates of the other spirits.
On Friday, I received news that my granddad was having probs with his lungs, but was told not to worry and only visit when it's the right time. Afterall, this 78 year old man who bellows for dinnertime after the weekend gathering cum gambling session with his daughters has no serious problems with his health in the past.
On Saturday morning, while I was waiting for my nasi lemak, in came one of the most horror-stricken calls I've ever had, which I only thought happened in movies. "Come to the hospital now, he might not make it". Tears welled immediately, and not caring that I was sobbing in public, I rushed to the hospital in a frenzy with streaming tears which only stopped considerably with the sensible and sympathetic consoling of bi.
I've never been to the ICU for my loved ones, and the waiting room was filled with ominosity and dreadness in the air. First image that appeared in front of me was a group of my red and swollen-eyed relatives, and the horrible sight of my depressed mom and the most painful image of my devastated grandmom.
If a soul of a sick one who is heavily sedated is allowed to float about, my granddad will probably uses his commanding presence to make my grandmom stop crying. And tell all of the crying ones how silly the whole situation it is for he is still alive and don't embarass themselves by crying in public. Everyone will look sheepish and whine to him how scared the call made them feel and how funny everybody just threw their jobs aside and rushed to the hospital at one go. How my granddad will be extremely touched hearing that, and feels that he is the most fortunate man in the whole world, getting to witness another grandchild's wedding and the birth of his great-grandchild.
Please wake up strong, fresh and healthy granddad. Please feel our emotional and loving attempts to pull you from stepping into the other world. Please sit straight again and tell everyone who dares to win you in mahjong off and holler at all of us. Please feel the warmth of being surrounded by those who love you. Please recover, granddad.
God & guardian angels, even including my deseased grandpa who has since passed on to a beautiful world where he suffers no more, give strength to both my granddad and his loved ones to stay strong, united throughout this ordeal.
