I thought I'll have time to blog about my favorite and saddest moments in Melbourne, reminiscing the past with never ending stories that is typical of me in person and in writing. I know my blog is not as succinct as a good pictures blog, but I really don't have time. I'm in the middle of my graduation trip draft and the pictures take such an awfully long time to load. Exceeding the bandwidth doesn't help either. I'm sure that when I go back to Malaysia I'll have plenty of free time as a bummer, and I can upload pictures of these main events:

1. Graduation trip
2. My Birthday
Etc...

At the same time, I'll allow my heart to ache at every fond memory and destination of Australia.

Prior to meeting him, I never thought about going overseas and thought local private education will be sufficient. I'm just thankful that I'm luckier than a whole lot of people who yearn to go overseas all their life. To sum up the whole experience as an horizon-opening one sounds very cliche, but to compete and survive in a foreign country as a foreign comer makes me a more driven person that I ever was. It's true that I still babble in tutorials while the locals seem so at ease with churning out endless ideas and sounding intelligent. It's true too, that most of them "make" it sound good. The art of expressing verbally is a skill that one has to learn for eternity, but learning to focus, absorb people's thoughts, analyze, then answer clearly albeit grammatically simple forms the basis of the skill. I learn to see myself as an equal in my workplace, learn to be more outspoken in class.

I can't stop learning. I packed most of my things today, resulting in a painful back bone. I'll miss whatever and whoever I have here, and I hate leaving. I hate leaving and departing from a country to another. Fortunately, I'm good in adapting. I wish that I'll have a job that post me in other countries. I don't need to stay in one place for too long, just enough to love that place and have the chance to visit again. My Italy plan is gone but doesn't mean that I won't have a chance in resuming the plan. No one in this modern world is stuck anywhere as long as you're willing to sacrifice time to work hard when you're young.

I'm not moping about going back to Malaysia but I wish Malaysia has winter. My favorite season is definitely winter but I'll accept Malaysia the way it is rather than experiencing winter while suffering from global-warming repercussions. I feel free...I feel so fortunate. I've cried here in Melbourne and fall again and again but always manage to stand back up. I've been pushed academically and now, career-wise because I have friends who are so incredibly ambitious I can definitely see them heading some MNCs in the future. Before I came, Melbourne was known as party place. So what if I don't really club but prefer to drink in pubs? As we grow up and start to develop our paths, unwinding with a drink to catch up about your work and week is a 1000 times more appealing than clubbing.

I'll miss the gossiping and laugh-out-loud sessions at Max Brenner or any other random cafes, steamboats at home, surprise birthday party (this is the first surprise bday party that really Surprise me), wrestling with bi at the living room (sigh, he's such an adorable playmate to have when there are just youngsters and no parents here at Melbourne, and he's definitely not going to act like that in a traditional household), jeering at sluggy and get jeered back, karaoke sessions till 4, day trips... I miss my house, Docklands, the best apartment in the entire Melbourne (to me) with the gorgeous soothing view day or night time, informative glossy resident magazines, the endless community events, my room, my beautiful bathroom, spacious living room, beautiful kitchen...This house is made for narcissists like me, it has reflecting walls at every corner. I determined to reach the life goal where I can get an apartment like this with my own $$$.

The past weekend was overwhelming for me. Friday I went to Gwen Stefani's Sweet Escape tour with Grace, the first concert that I attend with a fellow girlfriend that I can scream and act crazy. Prior to the event, I wasn't that enthusiastic as I was almost broke and felt like giving the ticket to sluggy. I would have regretted it for a long time if I never go based on her presence alone. She is one unique performer -- boundless energy, never out-of-breath, amazing abs and hot momma, churning out songs that can only sound funky/cool/childlike by her and no others. I've tried singing her songs in Karaoke and omg, sound so dead. It's hard to sound cool without being naturally is. Almost made up for my disappointment in Christina canceling her tour and gaining a whole new level of respect for Gwen. She ran up to the audience and at one point, was so close to us I could hear myself squealing like a 5 year old kid because I was so excited. The whole event was like a major clubbing arena with people dancing on their seats to almost every song.

On Saturday, Jackie, the trainer wy & me disliked transformed into this pleasant smiling girl who was encouraging and patient at our every move. She must have learned that the absence makes the heart grow fonder after not teaching us for some time or that the children that she teaches now are pests. I told her firmly that I wanted to learn canter, and she looped a string onto the horse's neck and asked me to not hold onto the saddle but balance myself with my arts outstretched. I've seen the other children done this before and refused to be outdone, and also because this might be my last horse riding lesson in Melbourne and I MUST learn cantering. The horse, Stilo, went into a canter position straight and I was so surprised to feel like sliding up and down like a little rollercoaster. Wai Ying was correct when she said cantering feels a thousand times better than the bumpy sitting trot, which I made myself look like a pro when demonstrating sitting trot on Stilo because it was dawdling, and I could sit still. A couple of times when the horse was catering in the tight little circle Jackie restricted it to, I felt like I was a bird, flying round and round, and sometimes, a rodeo girl when the horse gave a jerk and I grab the saddle instinctively with one hand and the other outstretched.

I vow that no matter how busy I am with work, I will take out time to go for horseriding lessons in Mount Kiara. It's the joy and only sports that I do now.

Labels: Intrapersonal