I think there's still something wrong although we've talked through it. Talked thorough, even. I have to admit that there's still this jealous monster in me, but whenever I control it with fuming, it turned cold.

Sometimes, I asked myself, would i prefer a relationship that has gone cold, or a relationship that burns each day with rage, jealousy, envy and all the seven sins? Seems like the previous choice will calm me down and enable me to focus more, as I'm trying in vain to achieve that mood now while i'm typing senselessly away.

I don't know what's wrong...maybe it's me that still suspects things, maybe it's him that never changes. Him...I realised it is too much, or maybe my realization comes too late, for guys to totally fend off a girl's flattery or friendship. I realised I could by avoiding, but somehow, he thinks I'm disrupting his chances of developing a beautiful friendship.

I think hard and through, and it's really affecting my mood each day. It is sweet of him to come ask me what's wrong everyday, but I feel like a jealous freak and talks like one.

Stop CARING so much STOP caring so much STOP caring so much STOP STOP STOP caring so much STOP caring so much STOP STOP STOP STOP caring so much Don'T CARE anymore don't care anymore DOn't DON'T Don'T DO NOT CARE ANYMORE DO NOT CARE ANYMORE BE STRONG BE STRONG BE STRONG LOVE YOURSELF LOVE YOURSELF LOVE YOURSELF LOVE YOURSELF!!

I'm going through the motions of a loving couple each day with a conflicted heart.

I hardly remember the time when I felt happy for more than a month without much problems. Is that a gain or loss? I want to return to my happy self.

Smile more. Smile smile smile regardless of how bad the day is. Smile and my worries will go away.

Smile. Keep a distance. But keep smiling. Smile.